On a day in August 2023,
A family of three boarded a plane bound for Shanghai at Auckland Airport,
This was no ordinary trip, as they bid farewell to New Zealand,
This Sino-New Zealand family was leaving behind the life they had lived for many years,
Determined to settle in Dali, China.
Unlike many families who take their children abroad,
They chose to return from New Zealand to China,
Let's hear the story of this "running from New Zealand to Dali".
Interviewee: Tangyuan
Image provided by: Tangyuan
Interview and Writing: Zibby
"Happiest Time During Working Holiday"
The protagonist of the story is a woman named Tangyuan. In 2013, after graduating from university, she didn't seek employment in China, but flew to the Southern Hemisphere with a working holiday visa. Like many working holidaymakers, she went to work on a farm.
The farm work wasn't too hard, and she also made friends from all over the world. Looking back, she said it was "the happiest time in New Zealand" for her.
After working for three months, she decided to continue improving herself and applied to school, changing her status from a working holidaymaker to a student. At the time, she was interested in wine and wanted to study wine professionally in New Zealand, but later the agent said it would be difficult to find a job in this field. After much thought, she finally chose business.
During her studies, she met her life partner.
Tangyuan's boyfriend comes from a multinational family, with parents from the United States and New Zealand. He grew up in the United States from a young age and came to New Zealand to study at the age of 19. He himself did not expect to meet his "true destined lady" from China here.
In 2015, Tangyuan and her boyfriend held their wedding in a vineyard in Christchurch, with the blessings of family and friends.
After marriage, Tangyuan brought her husband back to China to meet her family. Many foreigners who have never been to China have some prejudices about this ancient country, but when they actually live here, their views quickly change.
Returning from China, Tangyuan found herself pregnant, and the family was looking forward to the arrival of the new life.
Pregnancy did not stop Tangyuan's self-improvement. While she was managing a café, she also wanted to continue her education, so she applied for her second degree in New Zealand—industrial design. After receiving the offer, her husband moved with her from Christchurch to Wellington.
During her studies, Tangyuan gave birth to her baby, but she did not give up her studies. She started a life of studying while taking care of her child.
During that time, Tangyuan would climb mountains with her baby during the day to lose weight, and stay up late at night to do her schoolwork after the child fell asleep.
Growing and changing together with her baby was her design ability. She tirelessly switched between the roles of mother and student.
New Zealanders value family, and it is common for fathers to take care of their children. With her husband's cooperation and support, Tangyuan's parenting life went relatively smoothly.
"Moving to Dali is not about lying flat and escaping"
Returning to China was not a decision made impulsively. During her ten years in New Zealand, Tangyuan thought about it many times. But each time, she was blocked by various reasons, and her family and friends did not quite understand.
"Even if you don't consider yourself, you should also think about your child. Many Chinese people move to New Zealand for their children. Why do you choose to go against the tide?"
Tangyuan has been asked similar questions many times. Her answer is sincere: "Everyone has their own destiny. My daughter was born in this world to be my daughter, and my choice is a part of her destiny. This is her soul's choice, so we just go with the flow. There's no need to change ourselves just for the sake of our daughter."
Different from parents who often talk about "for the sake of the children," she has always insisted that "a happy mother will lead to a happy child." Tangyuan said she understands those who take their children abroad. Her own older brother's family is one of them. Her older brother's family once lived in Australia for a year. Due to the fluctuating immigration policies, they moved to Canada after a year of back and forth. Now settled in Canada, her brother's family is also very happy and satisfied. During her years in New Zealand, Tangyuan's life went smoothly, without major setbacks. But she always had a vague idea in her heart, wanting to return to China. "Is it because I'm not satisfied with life? I haven't laughed for a long time and I don't know why. Since I'm not happy and don't like it here, why not go all the way west to Dali?" Tangyuan's life in New Zealand was still acceptable, but she made a firm decision to "go to Dali."
Last August, they finally made up their minds and moved back to China as a family. The reason for choosing Dali instead of their hometown was because Tangyuan had always had a good impression of the city. After graduating from high school, her first trip was to Dali. She liked the local nature and cultural atmosphere very much, especially this time, taking her daughter with her, she wanted to find a place with a good natural environment. She felt that Dali could meet her needs.
They returned their house in New Zealand, gave away their belongings, and only brought three suitcases with them to fly back to China. The house in Dali was also found while they were in China. Because Tangyuan's husband found a job at a school in Shanghai, the family had to live apart, with Tangyuan and her daughter mostly living in Dali, while her husband worked in Shanghai, reuniting during holidays.
For two adults, adapting to a new life is not difficult, as they had long been mentally prepared. But for their daughter, it was a challenge. Upon arriving in China, their daughter followed Tangyuan around excitedly to explore, but after a few weeks, she began to miss her friends in New Zealand and insisted on returning. Another important point was that she couldn't speak or understand Chinese, so she often became frustrated because of this.
But children's adaptability is stronger than adults think. After moving to Dali, Tangyuan would take her daughter out to socialize, and she gradually began to make friends on her
own and started to learn Chinese. Now she has gotten used to life in Dali.
After arriving in Dali, Tangyuan didn't lie flat either. She continued her entrepreneurial project. She had previously started a business in New Zealand, mainly focusing on innovative materials, but the company only operated for a short period of time before they decided not to continue. After learning from her previous experience, she downsized her company this time and started with small products. While living in New Zealand, she liked to use canned dish soap, but after coming to China, she found that similar products were not common. So, she took advantage of her expertise in design and environmentally friendly materials to develop this product.
During her entrepreneurial journey in New Zealand, she followed the path of research and development to incubation and financing, but upon arriving in China, she encountered an entirely different environment. Carefully exploring and boldly experimenting, she has now launched her first product, a small-packaged natural dish soap, which has already been introduced to the market on a small scale.
"Moving to Dali is not a replacement for New Zealand."
With her entrepreneurial endeavors slowly gaining momentum, her daughter is also becoming more accustomed to life in Dali. Because of her preference for natural education concepts, she chose a private kindergarten with compatible principles for her daughter. These schools emphasize children's practical abilities and conduct diverse forms of outdoor nature education activities, going beyond the confines of the classroom.
Discussing her approach to educating her child, she emphasizes nurturing her child's natural inclinations and aims to cultivate a sense of happiness and freedom without imposing excessive restrictions.
She acknowledges that many around her are "elite" individuals pursuing a free-spirited lifestyle. Compared to New Zealand, the overall environment in China does indeed induce more anxiety. However, many parents who move to Dali do so in pursuit of a more relaxed and liberated environment for their children.
Despite some aspects where Dali falls short compared to New Zealand, she has no regrets about her choice because the overall standard of living here has significantly improved for her family. With less financial pressure on the family, she can embark on a new round of entrepreneurship with a relaxed mindset.
Furthermore, making friends is easier in Dali. As a foreigner, her social interactions in New Zealand were not as smooth, and even her husband, who is of mixed American and New Zealand descent, experienced similar feelings. Many locals in New Zealand value their tight-knit circles, making it difficult for outsiders to integrate. However, after living in New Zealand for ten years, she has made many good friends, including Chinese and Europeans, who share a similar sense of being outsiders, making communication smoother.
Dali offers a diverse range of social activities and specialized community groups, making it easy for her to make friends.
Her career is steadily advancing, her daughter has fallen in love with life in Dali, and her husband has found a job at the kindergarten where their daughter attends. Next year, the whole family will reunite in Dali. This family, which traveled from the "land of white clouds" to the "land of colorful clouds," is creating their dream life.
Whether departing or returning, it is all for the sake of that pure and pristine original intention. Tranquil and courageous, Tangyuan is paving the way for more creativity and sharing. Being true to herself first and then being a mother, she brings a happy energy to her family. Isn't this a kind of greatness?
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